Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Players who ought to be shot

After Tadahito Iguchi went 3 for 5 yesterday, B.A. got mad...REALLY REALLY MAD! So I decided to get my learn on, foo!

Tadahito Iguchi
career OPS: .777
career OPS versus NYY: 1.035 in 45 at bats (I know it's a small sample size, but the Yankees and White Sox play each other pretty infrequently and this is what he's done against the Yankees over the course of 2 seasons)

Coco Crisp
OPS (2007): .622
OPS (2007 versus NYY): .994
OBA (2007): .299
OBA (2007 versus NYY): .444 (and yes that means he, who has slugged under .400 in 3 of his 5 full seasons, is also slugging .550...Coco Crisp and the word slug should not be in the same sentence together...unless you're talking about putting one in him, which as one can infer from the title, I'm all in favor of)

Julio Lugo
walk totals versus other teams this year: 1,1,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,0
walk totals versus NYY this year: 10...yes...FUCKING TEN

The Mets have disclaimers in their contract for their moron fans, I think some teams must have clauses in their contracts like this:

You are at best a C+ to B- hitter. You are not that good. You are a bum that might not even be in MLB before this contract is up. However, if you play well against the Yankees, you will reap the benefits of what we call the "I'm an Annoying Slaphitting Dipshit" Incentive. This bonus adds 10% to your salary for that season and free tickets you will be coerced into using to see that play about a bunch of artsy, pretentious dumbasses who all get AIDS and die. At least I hope they die, I'm not willing to sit through it to find out...that's your job. But as you know, this wouldn't be an incentive if we didn't think annoying people like you would enjoy widely acclaimed bowel movements like these.

I don't care if it's Griffey, Thome, Howard, Pujols, Hafner, Vlad, or any big time power hitter that kills the Yankees. They kill everybody, some to more of an extent than others. But there is something about weenie bums who suck that hit the Yankees well. Sure there are bums who don't hit the Yankees, but there are some guys who just fucking kill the Yankees and are terrible. It's annoying as hell. As I've said, they oughta be shot. And being Sgt. B.A. Baracus, I got as good a shot as anyone, sucka!

1 comment:

B.A. Baracus said...

Another thing that I'd like to add, which is totally unrelated but it's pissing me off, if anyone would like to torture themselves and get themselves incredibly angry and have no way of releasing it, take the 4 train everyday. That fucking piece of shit took over 10 minutes to go from 149th and GC to 125th. Over 10 minutes...and it took an age and a half for it to go from 125th to 42nd. I could have run to work and gotten there faster. Die 4 train, you motherfucking pain in the Bronx's ass.