Thursday, June 28, 2007

The NBA Draft Drinking Game

Yes, its that time of the year kids. The NBA Draft is here and Kevin Garnett rumors are flying all over the place. Will he end up in Phoenix? Boston? Los Angeles? Or dare I say, NY? Yes, there is a crazy rumor out there circulating that the Knicks are involved in a three-way trade with both Minnesota and Boston. The trade would bring Garnett and several of his high-paid teammates to New York while the Knicks would essentially ship out almost every player to the Timberwolves and the Celtics (while keeping Eddy Curry). This proposed trade makes no sense though and honestly, I just don't see any truth to it.

If Garnett is traded tonight, the Suns and Celtics are still the heavy favorites.

But enough talk about Garnett.

The only two sure things about tonight's draft are Oden and Durant going 1 and 2 (in that order). After that, anything can happen.

Unfortunately, that might not be such a good thing for Knicks fans (see McDyess trade - 2002 NBA draft).

To be fair to Isiah Thomas, drafting is the one thing he does well...real well. So I'm not taking any shots at his drafting ability.

However, the draft is still a good reminder about what happened during the season. Guys like Mark Anthony and Greg Anthony will remind us how far away the Knicks are from competing, etc.

That is why I have proposed a drinking game for this year's draft. So that us Knick fans will be happy either way. If/when any of the follow things happen, grab a cold beer from the fridge and enjoy.

1. Someone comments about how Greg Oden looks like he is 40 years old.

Bonus: If there is a Dikembe Mutombo reference, treat yourself to 2 beers instead.

2. Jay Bilas tells us how Joakim Noah's unorthodox jumpshot makes Shawn Marion's shot look like Ricky Barry's.

Note: Bilas made this joke yesterday on ESPN News. He then made the joke again during the ESPN draft preview last night. Here's to hoping he does it again, causing Stephen A. Smith to get out of his seat and yell at Jay "YOU ALREADY MADE THAT JOKE! STEPHEN A. SMITH DOESN'T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE MAKE THE SAME JOKE MULTIPLE TIMES!"

3. The Hawks draft another SF in this draft.

The Hawks are most likely going with Al Horford at pick 3 (with a small chance that ownership gets them to draft Yi Jianlian instead). That will end up being a big mistake. Horford might develop into a very good NBA player. However, the Hawks need a PG and Conley is the best PG prospect I've seen since Chris Paul.

If the Hawks somehow decide to draft another SF though, that would just be downright hilarious.

4. A "Fire Layden" or "Fire Isiah" chant erupts.

Note: If Knicks fans boo whoever Isiah selects with the team's pick, then that would also apply here.

5. Stephen A. Smith talks about any particular team needing to draft a "dawg."

Bonus: If the team Stephen is talking about is the Knicks, make that 2 beers since it would be 2 years in a row.

6. David Stern opens the draft envelope only to give the camera his "What the fuck is this team thinking?" look.

Bonus: If its the Knicks, only half a beer since we've seen David give us that look many times over the years.

7. Garnett is traded.

Bonus: If he is traded to a contender, drink 2 beers because the guy has been one of the class acts of the league and deserves a chance to play on a good team for once.

8. Kobe is traded.

Not going to happen but would make this night even more interesting.

9. We get to see Stephen A. Smith eat a cheese doodle.

No explanation needed, just watch the video. Instant classic.

10. Some international player that looks like Ivan Drago (from Rocky IV) is drafted.

Thats all for now folks. Enjoy the draft tonight and look out for Jack Bauer's draft reactions article.

Note: Please drink in moderation. Pwnage of Morons doesn't condone getting drunk....ok maybe thats a lie. Either way, don't drink and drive. Be a smart drinker.


B.A. Baracus said...

Well looks like we got an upstanding citizen in that deal. Type of guy who asks to miss a couple games to go his girlfriend's cousin's funeral, but then at the last minute has this feeling he should express his bereavement at a strip club, instead. Wonder how the combination of Curry and Randolph is going work.

Jack Bauer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jack Bauer said...

I'm not going to lie.

What happened last night is exactly why there was a need for a drinking game...

Not a big fan of the trade. At the same time, don't hate it either. This is definitely one of Isiah's best trades (which isn't saying a lot).

It can benefit us if some things go right, so hopefully that happens.