Sunday, October 21, 2007

Seriously I want Sox fans to die

On this stupid Sawx blawg, this schmuck writes about this Mike Vaccaro article from last year that was saying the Yankees need to hit David Ortiz or brush him off the plate. I agreed and still do. I haven't been able to find it, but from the start of the 2004 season through the early 2005 season, Red Sox pitchers had hit nearly twice the number of batters that Yankee pitchers had hit. They've hit A-Rod and Jeter many times. Ortiz NEVER EVER gets hit or pitched inside. Not by Yankee pitching. Not by anyone. He needs to fucking get drilled with a fastball in his back or on his wrist/elbow and knocked off the plate. Anyway, here's what the douchebag writes in response:

Can't wait to see the reaction on NYYfans.com - or hell, the New York Post, - next time, say, Tony Mazz decides to suggest Josh Beckett let one fly toward Giambi's gargantuan, sweaty melon.

Fuck you, douchebag. Seriously. If it were the other way around, and Yankee pitchers were the ones hitting Red Sox batters constantly, then I would not disagree with the Red Sox writer if he wrote that. I would not WANT to see it, but I could understand it.

And here's some other shit that this guy has written:

Bernie Williams tossing his batting helmet at Charlie Relaford when he struck out looking in the seventh. Delmon Young got 50 games for tossing his bat at an ump. How many games will Bernie get? Or will his True Yankee status innoculate him from further censure?

Delmon Young flung his bat hard at the umpire and it hit him in the stomach. That could have seriously injured the umpire. Bernie simply tossed his helmet towards the umpire in disgust. Maybe he shouldn't have done it (though knowing how umpires can be total douchebags, it's understandable), but to compare flinging a bat at a high speed, a potentially lethal weapon, towards an umpire to tossing your helmet towards an umpire's feet...that's not even apples and oranges. That's like apples and bird shit. Go fuck yourself, dipshit.

After pointing out how A-Rod's error led to Ortiz reaching, he writes:

Why did A-Rod win that MVP award last season? Oh yeah, it's because he plays the field everyday.

Wow you're an idiot of the highest order. A-Rod won the 2005 AL MVP award instead of Big Floppy because (or rather, he SHOULD have won it because)...

A-Rod: .321/.421/.610, 48 HR, .352 EqA, 12.8 WARP3
Big Floppy: .300/.397/.604, 47 HR, .336 EqA, 9.6 WARP3

A-Rod was worth over 3 more wins to his team and just plain and simply had a better year. If you're going to bring up all of Ortiz's "clutch" hits, go fuck yourself. Clutch doesn't make a guy with inferior numbers a better player. And as I've written before, clutch is overrated and totally misunderstood.

This guy also writes about how Giambi and Andy Phillips took curtain calls after hitting 3-run homers off Beckett last June. Basically, he says,

After the Yankees were upset with Manny's admiring his HRs at Fenway, they take curtain calls in the second innning. In June.

OK, I think the curtain calls are a bit much. However, to compare a curtain call, which consists of coming up to the top step of the dugout and tipping your helmet, to standing at home plate admiring your home run, showing up the pitcher (which pisses me off to no end), is another moronic comparison. The only fair point he made here was A-Rod stealing second up 6 runs after the Yankees complained about Patterson stealing second up 6 runs the previous night. That's fair. But comparing curtain calls to showing up a pitcher on the field after you bomb one, stupid.

These fans know absolutely nothing about the game. And yet they think they do, so they write blogs. Please, Cleveland. Win tonight. I can't take living in Massachusetts with the Red Sox being anywhere near a World Series. Forget about them actually being in one. I'd have to break the 5th Commandment numerous times should that happen.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

If I were MLB commissioner...

Several things I would do:

(a) rid MLB of steroids, HGH, and all sorts of illegal substances
(b) raise the mound
(c) put Questec in every ballpark and implement an instant replay challenge
(d) put an end to unnecessary showboating

Obviously, (a) is necessary. I would do (b) because I'm sick of ridiculous offense and double-digit run-scoring games. I would do (c) because I hate inconsistent strike zones and blown calls. I want umpires to be held accountable for being inconsistent and I also want teams to protect themselves from getting fucked by a terrible call.

Lastly, I would do (d) because it's really fucking annoying. When I see a guy do this, I feel like I'm watching a Little League game. What are you, 10? You're in the Major Leagues. It's a fucking privilege to play the game of baseball at the professional level and get paid shitloads for it. At the very least, be professional. I'm not saying you can't celebrate or show emotion, but don't do shit that shows up the pitcher. If you stand there and admire your home run, or flip your bat, or stand at home plate for 30 seconds like Manny did against K-Rod and Lewis the other night, you should be punished for it. Or if you strike somebody out, and you gesture/shout towards the other dugout or the guy you just K'd, then you should get punished. It's fine to pump your fist or yell "Yeah!" after a big strikeout or a big HR. I would try my best to act like it's not a huge deal, but you can get pumped up after that big K or HR without being a total douchebag. So here's what I would do for a hitter:

First time you do it, you get a warning.

Second time you do it, the guy batting behind you has to hit in an 0-1 count.

Here's why I do it that way. Hitting in an 0-1 count is a bit of a detriment for an obvious reason. But it's just one plate appearance. Typical everyday player gets 600 to 650 plate appearances. That is between 0.15 and 0.17% of all of your plate appearances throughout the year. So it obviously does nothing to a guy over the course of a season. However, it does piss your teammate off, as well as the rest of the team that you would rather indulge yourself in douchebaggianism than keep it to yourself for your team's own sake. Plus, it punishes the team a little bit and rightfully so. As a manager, you should drill professionalism into your players. A rule should help you do it. If you got a guy on your team that breaks the rule anyway, then as a manager you aren't doing a good enough job of keeping your players in order. Plus, the only time this could make a difference is in a close and late game. If Manny homers off Scot Shields in the 8th inning closing a 2 run game to a 1 run game, and he acts like a cocksucker and shows Shields up, then Mike Lowell has to hit with a strike on him. Let's say hypothetically that Shields historically owns Lowell, so hitting down 0-1 is detrimental to Lowell because in a fresh count he's already in a ditch. But aside from that, if your team has a huge lead or is getting killed, I don't think the 0-1 count rule would be the blame if you lose either type of game. If you blow the huge lead, blame it on the fact that your closer is Mike Myers. If you lose the blowout, blame it on the fact that your starter is Kei Igawa. Not the fact that ONE guy in your lineup had to hit in an 0-1 count. Because even if a guy hits a solo home run and that's your only bit of offense for that whole game, that affects 1 out of the 28 total plate appearances. That's 3.6%. If the other 96.4% can't do shit against opposing pitching, that's why you lost. And also, hitting in an 0-1 count is quite common even without the rule. Aaron Hill this year, for example, had to hit with an 0-1 count about 310 times (sac flies and sac hits not listed for these situations). So it's obviously not excessive punishment. However, it's a minor annoyance to the guy hitting behind you, and it will likely piss off some if not all of your teammates. And it will reflect badly on the manager. So it's a fair punishment in my opinion.

Third time you do it, you get a suspension with a fine that's proportional to your salary. And every time that you do it after that, the suspensions and fines are double the previous ones.

If you still do it after a warning and a punishment landing on your teammate, then obviously you need to face some sort of serious punishment.

For a pitcher, he must follow the same rules. However, the next batter gets to hit with a 1-0 count.

More rules I would implement to follow whenever I feel like posting them.

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Pwnage Awards, Part 1

Here are the Pwnage Awards followed by my nominations:

The Better to Be Lucky than Good Award

There are always several candidates for this, but my vote goes to:

Curtis Granderson

As stated before, he's a terrible leadoff hitter. Leadoff hitter's job is to be on base as much as possible, which he sucks at doing. And batting a guy with 20 doubles, 20 triples, 20 home runs, and 20 steals in the leadoff slot is stupid for obvious reasons.

Despite his terribleness as a leadoff hitter, he had a great year statistically. But is he really this good? Let's look this over:

Line Drive percentage: 21.0% (22.2% in 2006)
Home Run/Fly Ball percentage: 11.4% (12.3% in 2006)
Ground Ball percentage: 34.2% (38.9% in 2006)

Seems like he hit the ball pretty similarly to how he hit the ball last year. Let's see how he did with strikeouts and walks:

Plate Appearances per Strikeout: 4.79 PA/K (3.90 AB/K last year)
Plate Appearances per Walk: 13.00 PA/BB (10.29 PA/BB last year)

He cut down on his strikeouts, but that's nothing to congratulate him on. That's like congratulating Rosie O'Donnell for dropping 30 pounds from 350 to 320. He also was more of a free swinger this year, as he walked a good deal less frequently. Overall, I'd say he had a pretty similar year this year as he did last year. But oh wait, what?

2006
.260/.335/.438
31 2B, 9 3B, 19 HR

2007
.302/.361/.552
38 2B, 23 3B, 23 HR

Whadafuck? THT has Granderson second in the AL in PrOPS overachieving this year. Second only to his teammate Magglio Ordonez. Technically Ordonez is luckier, but Ordonez is actually a good hitter who was still good even if you took away the luck element. However, Granderson, without the luck element, he's really not much better than league average. His PrOPS last year .767 and actual OPS was .773. What was his PrOPS this year? .785, only 18 pts higher than last year and only 12 pts higher than what it actually was last year. Some guys are consistently above their projected numbers, like Jeter. He's always higher, so you can usually disregard the luck element in his PrOPS overachieving. However, with other guys it's good because it's usually correct in pointing out the lucky fucks. Granderson is very likely one of these people, which is why he gets my nomination for the "Better to Be Lucky Than Good" Award.

The He Didn't Collapse, He Just Sucks and Came Back Down to Earth Award

Jose Reyes. No question about it in my mind.

It was so sweet to see him absolutely suck Flushing nutsack as he got showered with boos in September. Here's how he did in September:

.205/.279/.333

This showboating, overrated, loafing douchebag slumping like that put a nice smile on B.A.'s face. Look at how he hit the ball this year versus last year:

Line Drive percentage: 18.5% (20.9% last year)
Home Run/Fly Ball percentage: 5.5% (10.6% last year)
Ground Ball percentage: 41.6% (45.2% last year)

Also:

Infield Fly Balls/Total Fly Balls: 13.4% (11.8% last year)

Combine all of the factors (he hit fewer groundballs, fewer line drives, more infield flies) and there you have his suckitude.

This is the future of the Mets, people. A guy who doesn't hustle on ground balls. Just takes off for 2nd or 3rd whenever he feels like it...which is all the time. A guy, whose biggest tool is his speed, that has a Ground Ball/Fly Ball ratio of 1.07. I'm sorry everybody. The guy just isn't that amazing. Halfway through this year I thought that maybe he was an excellent player, but unless he magically stops hitting pop ups and fly balls so he can use his speed more and picks up his walk rate from the first half of this past year, I don't see him being within an order of magnitude of being "one of the best players in the game". So he gets my nomination for "He Didn't Collapse, He Just Sucks and Came Back Down to Earth" Award.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Love for the Red Sox impedes rational thinking

From FJM last night:

It finally happened, you guys!!!

Joe Buck, bottom 6, Red Sox' diminuitive caucasian 2B Dustin Pedroia at the dish:

"He's a lot like David Eckstein -- he makes the most out of what he's got."

Finally. Someone pointed out the superficial/wrong.

Pedroia, in 2007, his 23 year-old rookie year: .317/.380/.442. .292 EqA.
Eckstein, Cherry Picking Best Ever Result in Every Category Throughout his Entire Career: .309/.363/.395. .274 EqA.

Eck's career SLG is .362. His career high in doubles is 26. Pedroia had 39.

But hey. They are both short. And white. So that's something.

Buck's right, KT. Take Dustin Pedroia out of that puke-colored, 5 century old, populated by overly hairy, obnoxious dirtbags who think chanting a player's name like "Rooooo-ger, Rooooo-ger" is funny, take their shoes off to count beyond 10 and can't name anybody other than Ortiz, Ramirez, and Varitek in starting lineup, piece of shit haven for hitters who would suck if they hit on the moon, he IS David Eckstein.

Dustin Pedroia (career):
Home: .334/.391/.482
Away: .265/.335/.365

David Eckstein (career):
Home: .297/.367/.375
Away: .276/.336/.350

There you have it everybody. If you take the unfortunately most probable choice for AL Rookie of the Year out of that ginormous-green-eyesore-ought-to-be-dynamited-piece-of-shit, he is David Eckstein. That's right everyone. Dustin Pedroia is David Eckstein. David Eckstein is Dustin Pedroia. By the way, Pedroia ought to shave that retarded chin goatee. You're like 5'2", 70 pounds soaking wet and look like you're 10. Growing facial hair won't make you look more badass. It will make you look more like a pussy because you're a pussy who's TRYING to look tough. And even more annoying is his swing. It looks like a drunk beer league softball player's swing. That ridiculous load-up followed by the war hack. The only reason it works at all is because of Fenway. I want Fenway to be burned down to the ground, or I want the Red Sox to suck so terribly for the next 100 years that all their bandwagon cumsumers all kill themselves, or I want the Red Sox to keep getting off to hot starts every year, giving their dumbass fans hope, and then collapsing in August/September every year so I can call out the bandwagon fans who will claim they don't care after bragging about AL East standings 15 games into the season.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

I want David Ortiz to have Pesky's Pole shoved up his ass, then smashed with the giant Coke bottle, then electrocuted by the John Hancock sign...

CAN ANYBODY GET THIS FAT, ARROGANT, SELF-IMPORTANT PIECE OF SHIT OUT?????

David Ortiz (2007 Postseason)
.777/.882/1.555
2 HR
8 BB

I want him to fucking die. Not to mention one of his home runs he didn't deserve to hit. He was fooled on the pitch from Weaver and was lucky to even get his bat on it, let alone get it out of the ballpark. I want Manny to die, too. Is he still standing at home plate watching his walk-off home run like a fucking puerile 7 year old spoiled bratty fuckface that's never been shown a shread of discipline or taught the concept of sportsmanship? Shoot him in his scrotum. Then take his gay dreadlocks, shove them up his ass, then stuff them down his mouth.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

That sucked

Let me just get a mild frustration rant out of my system.

Negatives:

Wang - Allowed over 10 earned runs in 5.2 innings pitched. That's fucking awful. He would have redeemed himself by pitching a solid 6-7 innings in Game 4 but instead can't get an out beyond the first inning. Sinker not sinking. Slider doing absolutely nothing.

However, the Yankees don't even get to the playoffs without Wang. He was the best starter the Yankees had this year. He had a 1.294 WHIP with a 117 ERA+. Groundballs were not nearly as frequent this year for him, but his strikeouts went up. It really got me angry because I was at this game expecting a gem and before I could blink, Sizemore had given the bleacher creatures a souvenir and after I'd realized that, Mike Mussina was throwing warm up tosses with Indians hanging out on each base. Wang's very good but he needs to figure out how to get his sinker working again. The guy frequently this year did not have his best stuff, as evidenced by the sharp decrease in G/F ratio as well as just watching the guy pitch.

Posada - couldn't hit anything in this series, going .133/.235/.200. Also did not call great games in my opinion. And I also think he could have at least blocked one of the Joba wild pitches.

That said, gotta resign the guy. He came up through the system and I can't and don't want to see him anywhere else. And the Yankees don't exactly have a Joe Mauer waiting in Triple A either.

Jeter - struggled mightily in this series. .176/.176/.176 in this series, hit into THREE double plays.
THREE. He twice did it with a runner on third, in instances which you need to get a run home somehow. In fairness to Jeter, the second one was a hard hit ball right up the middle that looked like a hit off the bat, but Cabrera had it played perfectly. Ugh, it was also just frustrating to see Jeter struggle like that. I wanted to see him and ARod just go nuts this series, but oh well.

Now some positives:

Cano - hit very well this series. .333/.375/.800, with 2 HR. Hope this guy continues his 2nd half from this year for the whole season in 2008.

ARod - .267/.353/.467. Not great, but certainly not terrible. Had a rough first two games, but hit pretty well in games 3 and 4. Anyone in the press that shits on ARod for not "hitting when it mattered" can go disembowel themselves. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE AROD.

Hughes - pitched 5.2 innings striking out 6, walking none, and allowed just one run on a Garko homer when the Yanks were already down 8 runs. Cannot wait to see how the rotation looks next year with him, Kennedy and Chamberlain. Another interesting thing that I noticed. He only throws about 92-93 mph, but everybody tends to be late on it. It looks harder than the gun says. And considering the fact that, being 21 and still not done maturing physically, he may pick up more velocity as time goes by, he could be like a young Mike Mussina.

Pettitte - pitched reminiscent of 1996 WS game 6 in game 2. Just gutty as hell and was sharp as hell. Hope to see him return next year.

Also, I must say, I don't dislike Cleveland. I like their team. Sizemore, Hafner, Martinez, Sabathia, Carmona, Betancourt, Perez, etc. They're a good team. Despite the fact they knocked off the Yankees, I want to see them go all the way. It pissed me off that every team that I don't like won in all of the other series. I wanted Philly to win. They lost. I wanted Chicago to win. They lost. I didn't really want Anaheim to win, I just hate the Red Sox more and just wanted them out. Anaheim lost. I fucking hate this baseball season. If the Red Sox win, then this baseball season will officially be declared as the most annoying baseball season ever next to 2004.

2007 was a disappointment. But not to despair Yankees fans. This team has some young talent that will be great to watch in 2008 onward.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Has he ever saved a game?

I really think that all those career saves are made up. I've never seen this guy save a game. And I don't know how you can feel comfortable as a Padres fan when he takes the ball with a 1 run lead in the 9th inning against a good offense. He's blown a World Series game, an All-Star game, the one time he's faced the Yankees in recent years (back to back homers by Matsui and...KENNY LOFTON) at least 2 games against the Mets, blew a game in which Peavy went 7 innings, no runs, 16 strikeouts, last night, etc. THIS GUY SUCKS. Anyone who wants to put him in the top echelon of closers is an idiot. He isn't worthy of sniffing Mariano Rivera's jockstrap.