Jonathan Papelbon: you are an unprofessional piece of shit

Re: Gardner's hit (and maybe even Cano's hit, too)

"Seems like that's what's going to happen if you're going to beat me this year: broken bat or find-your-way-through-the-infield somehow," Papelbon said. "I've got to be able to go out and get the first guy."

First of all, that's a classless thing to say. If you're talking about Cano's hit, you're an idiot. Cano hit that ball hard right back through the middle. He's a good hitter who has found his stroke and you didn't get the ball up in the zone enough. Regarding Gardner, give him some credit, you fucking schmuck. He fouled off your mighty, intimidating fishface fastball time after time...then you and Vaginatek stupidly decide to try a splitter instead of just continuing with the fastball due to the likelihood that eventually one of his swings would yield a fair flyball, and after having sped up Gardner's bat, he grounds one right up the middle. Sure, he didn't hit it hard, but he didn't try to do to much with it, took the right approach, and it won the game. Quit whining, you fag.

Secondly, you only get beat on broken bats and weakly hit balls?
I guess that's what happened here...and here...and here...and here...

Besides, unlike most people, I didn't forget about the 5 or 6 400 foot outs you gave up in the postseason last year that luckily for you did not find their way over the wall. Or the 407 foot out you gave up to Abreu just 2 days earlier. That Braun home run you gave up was clocked at 115 MPH off his bat. Papsmear, contrary to what you may believe, people can hit the ball hard off you. I hope you blow 5 more saves this year, all on 450 foot game-winning grand slams with baserunners you put on. Then you tear your shoulder on another one of your typical first pitch fastballs that A-Rod turns into a 575 foot game-winning 3 run homer. And then you fall into the highly populated category of people who became irrelevent just 2-3 years after everyone dubbed them the new Mariano.