ESPN Sunday Night Baseball! Episode 3: Joe Morgan has even done things he didn't do!

NOTE: Some necessary background for the episode from a recent Phil Mushnick article:

The year, Morgan told us, was 1964, that calamitous season when the Phillies blew a 61/2-game lead with 12 games left by losing 10 straight. Morgan said he made his major-league debut late in '64, against the Phillies. And it was in that game that his RBI single beat the Phillies, extending their infamous losing streak to eight or nine.

Wow, what a truly great start to a career!!

Great story. But unless Morgan was confusing himself with Reds rookie infielder Chico Ruiz, it never happened. As several readers were moved to write, the Phillies played the Reds, Braves and Cardinals during that losing streak; Houston wasn't in the mix.

Furthermore, Morgan, though called up in 1964, did not have an RBI that season for Houston.

And he did not make his big-league debut in '64, either. That came Sept. 21, 1963, when he went 0-for-1, pinch-hitting against the Phillies. The next day, Morgan did have an RBI single to beat the Phillies, but those Phillies were well out of the race and not in the throes of a historic collapse; they'd actually won four of their previous five games.

Oh, so I guess not so truly.

In the first inning
Joe Morgan: Well, tonight could be the night! The 10,000th loss for the Philadelphia Phillies is near!
Jon Miller: (with mike turned off, or so he thinks) Joe, pipe the fuck (doesn't get bleeped, millions of e-mail and phone call complaints start coming in) down! I'm trying to order Chinese food! Yes, hi. I'd like dumplings, spare ribs, General Tso's Chicken, pork lo mein, sweet and sour chicken, anything and everything that goes into a fryer, a bucket of egg rolls...(continues naming items for 5 straight minutes on the air) with a side order of bacon fat and an all-you-can-eat buffet for a party of 35. Thanks. (hangs up the phone) Of course, since I'm going to be sharing all of this food...HA! Oh and by the way for those of you who don't know, Alex Rodriguez...

When Cardinals go up 10-0
Joe Morgan: Well, that 10,000th loss is eminent!
Smart Stat Guy in the back: That's IMMINENT, you idiot.
Joe Morgan: Whatever, but, back in 1964, the Phillies were in the midst of a big collapse and I got a huge RBI single to help sink them. Their manager was so mad that he said that they were beaten by a "Little Leaguer"!
Jon Miller: That's quite a story there, Joe!
Joe Morgan: Yes, in fact, I've had a lot of great moments in my career.
Jon Miller: Please share!
Joe Morgan: Well, I won 2 MVPs.
Jon Miller: That's right.
Joe Morgan: I won 2 World Series!
Jon Miller: Nothing like having rings.
Joe Morgan: I won 6 Cy Youngs!
Jon Miller: (eating and not paying attention) That's great.
Joe Morgan: I pitched a perfect game in the World Series!
Jon Miller: .......(too busy eating)
Joe Morgan: I also invented the curveball, the two-seam fastball, the cutter, and the congratulatory ass-slap!
Jon Miller: .......(napping)

Smart Stat Guy in the Back decided to leave and let Morgan talk about how he changed the game all by himself. Currently, Smart Stat Guy is at a pub getting free drinks from a hot bartender.