The Great Depression All Over Again: Garnett and Gagne to Boston

Well folks, I know exactly what you must be thinking...where has Jack Bauer been in the past couple of weeks? It is a very fair question and one that I must ultimately address to stop the rumors from circulating. One rumor, for example, is that I drank scotch for days after finding out that Kevin Garnett was being traded to the Boston Celtics. That is not true at all. It was beer, not scotch.

Another rumor is that after hearing on the radio about Eric Gagne being traded to the Red Sox (and not the Yankees), I drove my car off a cliff while angrily screaming "I HAAAAAAAATE THOSSSSEEE BASTARDDDDDDDDS!" Not true either. Jack Bauer would never destroy his car (or his life for that matter) because of Eric freaking Gagne.

Here's the truth, the Garnett trade obviously was a big blow to any Knick fan. As I pointed out in my "Draft Reactions" post in June, the Ray Allen trade was "a bad move for Boston unless there is a KG trade brewing for Jefferson, Ratliff, and change." As much as I didn't want to believe that Boston would still have the pieces to make that move, I knew it was still possible because of how much of a dumbass Kevin McHale is and the fact that Boston still had Rafliff's big expiring contract to make a deal happen.

That expiring contract, believe it or not, was why I told my brother on draft night (upon realizing that Ratliff wasn't involved in the Ray Allen trade) that Boston could still get Garnett hypothetically. On Monday night, it became real, very real.

Here's the deal, Boston now has a legitimate franchise player in Garnett. Pierce and Ray Allen are all-stars, not franchise guys. A franchise player is a player that will give you a chance to win a game no matter who else is on the floor. Garnett does precisely that.

Depth won't be an issue because Boston has suddenly become a desirable city for NBA free agents. Eddie House was signed by the Celtics yesterday and will give them a nice scoring punch off the bench. 100 year old Dikembe Mutombo might be the next free agent to sign with them. Despite the fact that Dikembe is an AARP cardholder, Mutombo is still a solid rebounder and shot-blocker.

Say what you want, but this was a risk the Celtics had to take. This is why you endure years of losing and rebuilding, to have a shot like this. Garnett, Pierce, and Allen are all unselfish stars who immediately make the Celtics a contender. Can Boston win a championship this year? Yes, they can. I don't think they will because I still believe that the Spurs are a better team and I also think that a healthy Heat team would beat them, but you never know with the NBA. Who knows, maybe Boston doesn't run into either of those teams in next year's playoffs, allowing them to win it all. I don't have to even mention how big of a factor injuries can play.

The point is, the Celtics are going to be good this season, really good. This affects the Knicks big-time because there is now one less playoff spot available. If you remember my Ron Artest article, I pointed out that there was a very realistic chance the Knicks could still miss the playoffs this season because of how much the East is improving and how unproven the Knicks still are. With the Garnett trade, the Celtics are guaranteed a playoff spot (unlike before the trade) which means that there is one less playoff spot up for grabs in the East.

Don't you just love the Zach Randolph trade even more right now? I'd expect Isiah to make another offer for Ron Artest right about now.

I don't even want to dwell too much on my last point. I'd rather not talk about how much it will hurt to see a warrior and competitor like Kevin Garnett wear a Celtics uniform, and not a Knicks uniform. At the same time, its bittersweet because I've wanted to see Garnett in a winning situation for a long time.

With all that said about the Garnett trade, I do want to briefly touch on the Gagne trade.

I'm not a big Gagne fan, really. I've always thought he is overrated. Still, I thought we could at least use him instead of Kyle Farnsworth. I laughed at the notion that the Red Sox were attempting to get Gagne (just like I laughed at the Rangers wanting Phillip Hughes in a potential Gagne trade). I really didn't see what use Boston had for him and I still don't. However, seeing the Red Sox actually trade for him to cockblock us made me think about how pathetic and desperate the Red Sox truly are.

The Red Sox play the part of the fat ass loser that happens to be best friends with the girl (Eric Gagne) you have a crush on. While you (Yankees) have a legitimate shot to get with this girl (because the girl also happens to like you too), the friend knows he has no chance and has been given the "just friends" speech from the girl, but still tries to do anything he can to get with her. Even though the guy should just back off, he actually does whatever he can do to prevent the girl from being with you (breaking a man law in the process).

And of course, you (the Yankees) want to beat the shit out of the girl's friend (Red Sox).

Ultimately, you don't get the girl because that son of a bitch friend of hers does just enough to keep her as a friend while turning her against you. Although that guy won't get any from her (an inefficient solution) like you would have (efficient solution), he effectively prevented you from the right solution.

See, the Red Sox are exactly like that loser. They don't really have anything to gain from the girl (Gagne) except maybe some friendship. However, they did whatever they could to prevent the efficient outcome, the Yankees getting some much needed service in the bullpen (insert "thats what she said joke" here).

The perfect cockblock by the Red Sox. Well played Boston. So, who is the Evil Empire now fuckers?