It just keeps getting worse

Friday night

What would any human being with a brain do in this instance:

Tyler Clippard, your starter, has gone 4 innings, allowed 3 runs, got knocked around a little bit on some pitches up (not to mention that one or two of the doubles he gave up Damon could have caught), but made some big pitches when he needed to in order to limit the damage and did not walk anybody. And even more importantly – Clippard, a young arm, has only thrown about 75 pitches. Here are your two options:

(a) Let him continue because, while his command is not perfect, he is not walking people and would probably benefit from, as Clemens would call it, “grinding it out”. It’d likely help build up his confidence.

(b) Pull him, which basically says to him, “I have no confidence in your ability to get guys out when you don’t have your best stuff.” Bring in Matt DeSalvo, who has never made an appearance out of the bullpen before and considering the fact that, while he has pitched fairly well, has walked 10 people in 17 innings = recipe for disaster.

Logical choice is (a), but leave it to the great genius Joe Torre to choose otherwise. And what did DeSalvo do? You guessed it! He walked 2 people, allowed a single and then a double! Pure awesomeness. Then of course Vizcaino comes in, walks the ballpark and allows 4 ER as well as the first HR of 2007 for the incredibly average/below average hitting Chone Figgins while recording only 3 outs in the process. Another fantastic job by this bullpen.

Another thing I’d point out about Chone Figgins. Over his career he has a .726 OPS. Against the Yankees, it’s fucking .862. I can’t stand seeing his scrappy ass constantly getting on base and being a fucking polyp in the Yankees’ bowel so much more often against them than against any other team because he’s not that fucking good and he’s overrated just like 95% of all fast, scrappy, gritty players. Sportswriters try to prove these guys are just as important as the Thomes and the Howards through the use of annoying clichés in lieu of stats which happen prove the opposite.

And of course, Torre’s move begged the question “Why did you pull Clippard?” for his postgame interview. What could possibly be his reason for doing so?

“Oh it was location. He was all over the place. Getting the ball down to some batters, others not. Yeah, I know it was only 75 pitches, but he had to work hard the whole time.”

I guess all over the place for Torre is throwing strikes, considering he walked NOBODY. Yes, he had a little bit of trouble getting the ball down at times, but come on, everyone has to battle when they don’t have their best stuff. Mussina clearly did not have his best stuff on Tuesday night (Clippard was just missing some spots here and there, Mussina’s fastball wasn’t coming in harder than like 87 MPH!!! Big difference.) and Torre let him go 6 2/3 innings. But Clippard after having allowed just 3 runs in 4 innings, not terrible, gets pulled because his stuff wasn't perfect. Terrible decision. And as far as I know…I mean, I’m a physics major. I do lots of stuff with math and shit. You know, B.A. Baracus don’t like no liberal arts jibba jabba! I don’t bother with that crap because I feel that many of those majors are exercises in futility leading to degrees in irrelevance and misleading, inflated GPAs that prove nothing other than that you are proficient in meaningless bullshit (i.e. Classics, Art History, English, etc. Quite frankly a degree in Advanced Jerking Off Techniques might be more useful. At least the benefits of the degree would be tangible.). Anyway, enough of my opinion on indolent people who feel like wasting 4 years studying inane crap versus something useful. Back to the matter at hand...as far as my knowledge of math in baseball goes…1 pitch doesn’t equal 1.5, or 2.9, or 193.2 pitches, Joe. 75 pitches = 75 pitches = 75 pitches => He’s not that tired (he is quoted as saying he wanted to stay in) => Leave him in = what Torre should have done ≠ what Torre did => Torre is a fucking senile idiot.

Typical conversation with Mattingly in middle innings:

Torre: Uh oh, bloop single. Gotta get the bullpen up.
Mattingly: This is the 13th time this game that you’ve had the bullpen warm up in this game. You’ve probably overworked them already.
Torre: Nah, I doubt it. Get Proctor going.
Mattingly: But he’s thrown 51,849,294 pitches in the past week. Monahan had to use your daughter's Elmer's glue stick to reattach his arm that fell off when you took the ball from him last time.
Torre: Get him and Villone going.
Mattingly: But you destroyed Villone’s arm last year and now he sucks.
Torre: Ortiz is coming up soon, get Myers going.
Mattingly: But Ortiz is 5 for 14 with a 1.018 OPS against him. Lefty vs. lefty only works when the lefty batter doesn’t hit the lefty pitcher.
Torre: Get Paul Quantrill up.
Mattingly: He’s not on the team anymore.
Torre: Let’s get those guys along with Tanyon Sturtze, Tom Gordon, Jeff Nelson, Mike Stanton, Graeme Lloyd, David Weathers, and John Wetteland, too.
Mattingly (thinking to self): Dr. Kevorkian's getting out of jail next week. I think I'll give him a call.

Torre’s gotta go after 2007.