The Pwnage Awards, Part 1

Here are the Pwnage Awards followed by my nominations:

The Better to Be Lucky than Good Award

There are always several candidates for this, but my vote goes to:

Curtis Granderson

As stated before, he's a terrible leadoff hitter. Leadoff hitter's job is to be on base as much as possible, which he sucks at doing. And batting a guy with 20 doubles, 20 triples, 20 home runs, and 20 steals in the leadoff slot is stupid for obvious reasons.

Despite his terribleness as a leadoff hitter, he had a great year statistically. But is he really this good? Let's look this over:

Line Drive percentage: 21.0% (22.2% in 2006)
Home Run/Fly Ball percentage: 11.4% (12.3% in 2006)
Ground Ball percentage: 34.2% (38.9% in 2006)

Seems like he hit the ball pretty similarly to how he hit the ball last year. Let's see how he did with strikeouts and walks:

Plate Appearances per Strikeout: 4.79 PA/K (3.90 AB/K last year)
Plate Appearances per Walk: 13.00 PA/BB (10.29 PA/BB last year)

He cut down on his strikeouts, but that's nothing to congratulate him on. That's like congratulating Rosie O'Donnell for dropping 30 pounds from 350 to 320. He also was more of a free swinger this year, as he walked a good deal less frequently. Overall, I'd say he had a pretty similar year this year as he did last year. But oh wait, what?

2006
.260/.335/.438
31 2B, 9 3B, 19 HR

2007
.302/.361/.552
38 2B, 23 3B, 23 HR

Whadafuck? THT has Granderson second in the AL in PrOPS overachieving this year. Second only to his teammate Magglio Ordonez. Technically Ordonez is luckier, but Ordonez is actually a good hitter who was still good even if you took away the luck element. However, Granderson, without the luck element, he's really not much better than league average. His PrOPS last year .767 and actual OPS was .773. What was his PrOPS this year? .785, only 18 pts higher than last year and only 12 pts higher than what it actually was last year. Some guys are consistently above their projected numbers, like Jeter. He's always higher, so you can usually disregard the luck element in his PrOPS overachieving. However, with other guys it's good because it's usually correct in pointing out the lucky fucks. Granderson is very likely one of these people, which is why he gets my nomination for the "Better to Be Lucky Than Good" Award.

The He Didn't Collapse, He Just Sucks and Came Back Down to Earth Award

Jose Reyes. No question about it in my mind.

It was so sweet to see him absolutely suck Flushing nutsack as he got showered with boos in September. Here's how he did in September:

.205/.279/.333

This showboating, overrated, loafing douchebag slumping like that put a nice smile on B.A.'s face. Look at how he hit the ball this year versus last year:

Line Drive percentage: 18.5% (20.9% last year)
Home Run/Fly Ball percentage: 5.5% (10.6% last year)
Ground Ball percentage: 41.6% (45.2% last year)

Also:

Infield Fly Balls/Total Fly Balls: 13.4% (11.8% last year)

Combine all of the factors (he hit fewer groundballs, fewer line drives, more infield flies) and there you have his suckitude.

This is the future of the Mets, people. A guy who doesn't hustle on ground balls. Just takes off for 2nd or 3rd whenever he feels like it...which is all the time. A guy, whose biggest tool is his speed, that has a Ground Ball/Fly Ball ratio of 1.07. I'm sorry everybody. The guy just isn't that amazing. Halfway through this year I thought that maybe he was an excellent player, but unless he magically stops hitting pop ups and fly balls so he can use his speed more and picks up his walk rate from the first half of this past year, I don't see him being within an order of magnitude of being "one of the best players in the game". So he gets my nomination for "He Didn't Collapse, He Just Sucks and Came Back Down to Earth" Award.

Excitement update time!!!! WEEEE!!!!

Jose Reyes (2007)
.284/.358/.426
107 OPS+
.288 eqA

Jimmy Rollins (2007)
.295/.344/.531
119 OPS+
.296 eqA

Hanley Ramirez (2007)
.333/.387/.564
148 OPS+
.321 eqA

Still exciting.

Speaking of exciting, you know what Joba Chamberlain's ERA+ is right now?

1141


He is 1,041% better than league average. Only 23 2/3 innings, but still. A 0.750 WHIP. 34 K.

Some random crap

B.A. got a numba of things on which he would like to comment, foo!

1. Just joined a good Facebook group which is called "Robinson Cano is better than Jose Reyes will ever be."

Some of the comments of the weenie Mets fans who want to defend Reyes are pretty funny. Here are a few:

Reyes has more hits, runs, triples, walks, stolen bases, and a better on base percentage. He's only one point away from tying Cano's average and Reyes is on a better team. Reyes is a better player and will last as long, if not longer, than Cano

-Matt Rudolph on August 10, 2007

Firstly, Reyes is a leadoff hitter, dumbass. Of course he's going to have more hits if their averages are the same. Secondly, I like how he puts a positive spin on how Reyes is just 1 pt from tying Cano's BA by neglecting to make mention of the fact that Reyes was hitting around .320/.400/.450 at the end of June, while Cano was about .260/.300/.390. Thirdly, what the fuck does being on a better team have to do with this discussion? Fourthly, you, presumably, engage in acts of self-gratification to Reyes's speed, something Reyes is heavily reliant on, which does not last forever. In fact, Reyes will probably lose a step within the next few years because explosiveness declines with age. As said on Clarence Bass's (fitness author) website:

Performance in events that require explosive strength seem to be less well maintained.

And explosiveness in the lower body declines much more easily than the upper body. So Reyes is eventually going to lose those explosive first couple steps (and hence, some infield hits) and will get caught stealing more if he continues to just run all the fucking time.

wtf is this bullshit group... all of you yankee fans are jealous or [sic] reyes and cano will never be better than reyes ever ever ever

-Connor Henson on August 26, 2007

This comment made me laugh. The guy sounds like an annoying 12 year old girl (sorry for the redundancy, and they come at all ages, FYI) with his "you're just jealous!" and "he'll never be as good ever ever ever!", arguments analogous to the ones girls would use when defending their fondness for the Backstreet Boys. OK Connor, I don't know why that's your name, since you're a girl, but, you think Reyes is a lot better than Cano?

Connor: Oh my God, Jose Reyes is like...so much better than Robinson Cano, it's like...oh my God. Alright, anyhooooooo...I have to go to the maaaaall and get this purse that I saw in the windowwww. Because, it was hot, like, woah. And, oh my Goooood! I think Todd will be there! He's like...SO CUTE...and his friend Preston. Oh my God...he's gorgeousssss...

Anyway, Connor lacking what comprises a male human being (a penis and the typical way one with a penis acts and talks) aside, Cano will never be better than Reyes? Well, um, he kind of already has been better than Reyes...

Jose Reyes (career)
.287/.332/.428
99 OPS+
.275 eqA
27.6 WARP3

Robinson Cano (career)
.313/.345/.488
119 OPS+
.291 eqA
25.5 WARP3 (and Reyes came up before Cano, he's been worth 3.4 more wins over the same time period)

And don't start screaming about stolen bases, eqA takes those into account. So Connor, as a word of advice, baseball really isn't a girl thing. Watch the View and Oprah Winfrey instead. That'll be much more satisfying for you, I'm sure.

2. Rick Ankiel named as HGH guy...incredibly depressing

So happy for the guy. He was able to overcome the disaster that happened to him back in 2000 when he couldn't keep his pitches in the same zip code and become a power hitting outfielder. Awesome story. And then we find this shit out.

3. Steroids sent to Troy Glaus

Not terribly surprising. Dumbass. If I was as big as Glaus, I would simply keep myself in good shape. Stay light, but explosive. Sledgehammers, medicine balls, etc. Of course steroids will improve performance, but in the long run it hurts because with a guy as big as Glaus, tendons and ligaments can only handle so much. And Glaus has had his fun with injuries.

Overall, just glad that MLB.tv is working on my laptop now, so I can watch Yankees games. Good to see you back at first base, Douggy. I expect you to send some shots into the fountains this weekend.

We're overdue for another excitement update

Jose Reyes has excited us all to the tune of his line of:

.297/.368/.436
114 OPS+
.297 eqA
9 HR

Meanwhile, Jimmy Rollins has bored us by going:

.288/.339/.517
118 OPS+
.292 eqA
23 HR

And Hanley Ramirez has put us to sleep with his line of:

.332/.389/.557
149 OPS+
.325 eqA
23 HR

Now, we all know that Philadelphia's field, Citizens Bank Park, is a hitter's park, but even so:

Jose Reyes (2007)
on the road: .289/.365/.429, 4 HR

Jimmy Rollins (2007)
on the road: .292/.354/.495, 9 HR

And now, Reyes is better as a leadoff hitter because he gets on base more. However, if Rollins was used right, he would be more valuable because his power advantage over Reyes outweighs the OBA advantage Reyes has.

As far as Hanley is concerned, it's not even close. He's so much better than Reyes offensively. He needs work on his defense, but defense is easier to fix than offense. So, all you Reyes schlong lickers out there, realize something: he's not even the best SS in his division.

An energy and excitement update

It gives me great pleasure to report this.

Jimmy Rollins
.001 ExI (Excitement Index), .033 UnDLPoDA (Unnecessarily Dances Like a Prick outside Dugout Average), .028 MMWJkOr (Makes Morons Wanna Jerk Off Rate)
Hanley Ramirez
.001 ExI, .029 UnDLPoDA, .028 MMWJkOr
Edgar Renteria
-.007 ExI, .032 UnDLPoDA, .019 MMWJkOr
Jose Reyes
.989 ExI, 1.283 (New MLB Record!!!) UnDLPoDA, 1.107 MMWJkOr (or about what ARod can slug under anesthesia)

Jose Reyes is amazing. He's so exciting. That's gotta account for like, every win the Mets have. And he always hustles, too. All those other shortstops suck because they're not exciting. But, in case you're interested in actual performance and shit, which you shouldn't be because excitement and energy is what counts, here you go:

Jimmy Rollins
.295 eqA, 9.2 WARP3
Hanley Ramirez
.327 eqA, 9.0 WARP3
Edgar Renteria
.316 eqA, 10.4 WARP3
Jose Reyes
.303 eqA, 9.2 WARP3

Fuck that their actual performance is practically all the same. That shit doesn't measure the essence or the true value of Jose Reyes. I'd take Reyes over those other guys anyday.

Jose Reyes plays smallball, Alex Rodriguez hits longballs, which do you want?

While checking out Baseball Think Factory, I saw that they had posted something from Newsday:

Newsday posed the question to the experts - executives and scouts around the industry, although not from the Mets or Yankees - who were asked to keep in mind not only the players’ talents, but also their ages and contracts. Of the 16 officials from 16 clubs that responded, on the condition of anonymity, Reyes won in a blowout, 11 to 5.
Offered a scout: “I think that A-Rod is hypersensitive, and that affects his mood swings and performance swings. It appears from a distance that Reyes is less susceptible to these fluctuations.”
A second scout said that, despite A-Rod’s current run, he couldn’t shake visions of Rodriguez’s outward lack of confidence during slumps.
..."When you need a hit, he can come through with a bunt, a home run, a stolen base. A-Rod has got more power, no doubt about it. But if you tell me that it’s the ninth inning, and who you want to come into the plate to win the game for you? Between A-Rod and Reyes, I’ll pick Reyes.”
A scout, citing Reyes’ youth and speed as his deciding factor, said: “He can manufacture more runs than a home run streak. He’s tougher to pitch to with the switch-hitting ability, if you need a hit.

I'm at a loss for words at this stupidity.

Jose Reyes
Close and Late (2007)
.244/.370/.267
Monthly Splits (2007)
April: .356/.442/.596
May: .268/.349/.348
June: .330/.405/.425
July: .250/.318/.417
Runs Created/27 outs (RC/27 for short, basically, how many runs a lineup of Jose Reyeses would score)
6.25
has been pulled from two games for not hustling

Alex Rodriguez
Close and Late (2007)
.326/.396/.717
Monthly Splits (2007)
April: .355/.415/.882
May: .235/.361/.422
June: .406/.500/.781
July: .192/.288/.462
RC/27
9.50
has been pulled from exactly zero games for not hustling

I assume that these scouts/officials all looked at these numbers and concluded:
a. Reyes is the guy you want at the plate in the late innings during a close game
b. Reyes is less succeptible to mood/performance swings
c. Reyes can manufacture more runs than a home run streak

Way to reach smart conclusions. Since you guys don't want him, we'll keep ARod so he can keep kicking all of your asses.

And just for the hell of it, in case people want to talk about how Reyes was much better in the late innings of close games than ARod last year, Reyes was .264/.343/.396 in 91 AB and ARod was .237/.326/.368 in 76 AB. If ARod continued that same pace for another 15 AB, that would project to Reyes having 2 more hits. Whoopdy doo! He's more clutch! Blow me! (when you're done blowing Jose) Look, Reyes is good. He's getting on base a lot and playing pretty solid defense. THAT'S WHY HE'S GOOD. IT IS NOT BECAUSE HE STEALS BASES (btw, he's been caught 13 times for a 78% success rate = not that helpful) OR BECAUSE HE'S EXCITING. GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEADS, MORONS.

Orgasmic Edition of ESPN Sunday Night Baseball: New York Mets versus Boston Red Sox, Part One

Douggy Bombs had to go down to Philly to beat the shit out of Paul Lo Duca, so he handed over to me the task of relating to you the latest in the ESPN Sunday Night Baseball category. Now we all know that Miller and Morgan are totally in love with the Boston Red Sox, but what would happen if the Red Sox's opponents that night also sharpened their pencils? This eternal conundrum that has the world puzzled shall be answered by the omniscient Pwnage of Morons team.

In the first inning
Jose Reyes leads off against Curt Schilling

Jon Miller: Stepping into the batter's box is...Jose Reyes...the all-star caliber shortstop for the New York Mets.
Jon Miller's dick, JonWang: BOYOYOING! Good start to the game already! Mr. Excitement...PENILE EXCITEMENT that is!!! OOO diggity giggity wiggity!
Jon Miller: And on the mound...Curt Schilling. The 40 year old veteran.
JonWang: BOYOYOYOING! Curty's one of my favorites! Wait...I'm already armed and ready to go for Jose! Hey, JoeSchlong, are you having this same problem?
JoeSchlong: I am, JonWang! We're going both ways, here!
Jon Miller: Here comes the pitch from Schilling...
JonWang: Oh boy, what do I do?
(Reyes fouls it back)
Jon Miller: And fouled back by Reyes.
JonWang: Ohhh! I don't know if I can take a whole game of this!
JoeSchlong: Well, I had fun with both Ortiz AND Papelbon this one time and-
JonWang: You had fun with Papelbon?!
JoeSchlong: Oh shit...
JonWang: I can't believe you'd betray me like that!!!
JoeSclong: But it's not my fault, BLOWell (Mike Lowell's dick) was off doing the Green Monster! I needed something!
JonWang: I guess I can understand that. We can share.
Jon Miller: Here's the 0-1 dealing from Schilling...
JonWang: Oh the suspence, what could happen?!
(Reyes bloops one into rightcenter field)
Jon Miller: And Reyes drives one into rightcenter, Coco Crisp will not get there...this ball will roll into the triangle! Reyes is already rounding second and he'll get to third easily! A leadoff triple by Jose Reyes!!!
JonWang: I'm so sorry, Curty, but Jose beat you to it...(does his thing, which is just too revoltingly gross for this blog)
JoeSchlong: I'm with JonWang, Curt. You'll have to earn your chance...(emulates JonWang)
Joe Morgan: Now, you see what happened there. Jose Reyes is just incredible. That's all that you can say.
Smart Stat Guy in the Back: (to himself) A man who played 20 years in the big leagues watches a guy bloop one to rightcenter that gets misplayed and all he can say is that the guy who bloops one to rightcenter that gets misplayed is incredible? (out loud) Why is that so incredible, Joe?
Joe Morgan: Well, it's because...oh no, it's you! Dave Concepcion! Pedro Borbon!
Jon Miller: Get him a medic!!! Hey...don't I know you from someplace?
Smart Stat Guy in the Back: (to himself) Shit...he remembers me. Oh wait, he's senile. He doesn't really remember me. But just to make sure, I know what I'll do. (out loud) Hey, look! Jose is adjusting his cup!
Jon Miller: WHERE?! WHERE?!
JonWang: BOYOYOYOING! Boy am I getting a lot of action tonight!
Joe Morgan: Davey Lopes!
Smart Stat Guy in the Back: He was never even on the Big Red Machine.
Joe Morgan: Jose Reyes! Balls! In my mouth!
(Medic arrives, suppresses Joe's senile anxiety attack)
Smart Stat Guy in the Back: Ohhhhh, boy...as if the semen stains on his pants he gets during telecasts weren't enough to prove he has a thing for Mr. Reyes