Sunday, October 14, 2007

Love for the Red Sox impedes rational thinking

From FJM last night:

It finally happened, you guys!!!

Joe Buck, bottom 6, Red Sox' diminuitive caucasian 2B Dustin Pedroia at the dish:

"He's a lot like David Eckstein -- he makes the most out of what he's got."

Finally. Someone pointed out the superficial/wrong.

Pedroia, in 2007, his 23 year-old rookie year: .317/.380/.442. .292 EqA.
Eckstein, Cherry Picking Best Ever Result in Every Category Throughout his Entire Career: .309/.363/.395. .274 EqA.

Eck's career SLG is .362. His career high in doubles is 26. Pedroia had 39.

But hey. They are both short. And white. So that's something.

Buck's right, KT. Take Dustin Pedroia out of that puke-colored, 5 century old, populated by overly hairy, obnoxious dirtbags who think chanting a player's name like "Rooooo-ger, Rooooo-ger" is funny, take their shoes off to count beyond 10 and can't name anybody other than Ortiz, Ramirez, and Varitek in starting lineup, piece of shit haven for hitters who would suck if they hit on the moon, he IS David Eckstein.

Dustin Pedroia (career):
Home: .334/.391/.482
Away: .265/.335/.365

David Eckstein (career):
Home: .297/.367/.375
Away: .276/.336/.350

There you have it everybody. If you take the unfortunately most probable choice for AL Rookie of the Year out of that ginormous-green-eyesore-ought-to-be-dynamited-piece-of-shit, he is David Eckstein. That's right everyone. Dustin Pedroia is David Eckstein. David Eckstein is Dustin Pedroia. By the way, Pedroia ought to shave that retarded chin goatee. You're like 5'2", 70 pounds soaking wet and look like you're 10. Growing facial hair won't make you look more badass. It will make you look more like a pussy because you're a pussy who's TRYING to look tough. And even more annoying is his swing. It looks like a drunk beer league softball player's swing. That ridiculous load-up followed by the war hack. The only reason it works at all is because of Fenway. I want Fenway to be burned down to the ground, or I want the Red Sox to suck so terribly for the next 100 years that all their bandwagon cumsumers all kill themselves, or I want the Red Sox to keep getting off to hot starts every year, giving their dumbass fans hope, and then collapsing in August/September every year so I can call out the bandwagon fans who will claim they don't care after bragging about AL East standings 15 games into the season.

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