Fuck it, time for some 'I told you so' pwnage

Meet Greg Cote. The predictive genius.

MIAMI — Yes, the New England Patriots will lose a football game.

It probably will be sometime around mid-autumn of 2008.

They will not lose before then. They will continue marauding through this NFL season as unstoppable as a rock slide. They will complete the regular season unblemished. They will sweep through both playoff games as expected. Then they will win the Super Bowl, just like they are supposed to.

Let's break this down.

Yes, the New England Patriots will lose a football game.

Correct. No team can win every game.

It probably will be sometime around mid-autumn of 2008.

I'm sure the chances of them losing a regular season game next year are high.

They will not lose before then.

Wrong.

They will continue marauding through this NFL season as unstoppable as a rock slide. They will complete the regular season unblemished. They will sweep through both playoff games as expected.

Correct.

Then they will win the Super Bowl, just like they are supposed to.

WRONG.

Stating an opinion is one thing. Writing an article that presents your opinion in the form of prophecy is where you can get yourself into a little trouble.

By the way, did you really think that you were writing something groundbreaking at the time, Greg?

The Patriots will finish undefeated and be called the greatest team in the 88-year history of American professional football.

WRONG.

If the 17-0 Dolphins of 1972 have the one and only Perfect Season in history, perhaps we will need to call New England's 19-0 the Beyond Perfect Season.

18-1. The Irrelevent Season.

No other team can.

This was written on November 25th, before the Eagles game, which NE won by a whopping score of 31-28, and before the Baltimore game, which NE won 27-24. I bet good old Greg was shitting his pants during both games.


Dallas, the likeliest eventual Super Bowl opponent, tried last month, at home, and lost by three touchdowns, buried in a 48-point Brady avalanche.

Now, you see? That's better. Dallas did NOT make it to the Super Bowl, but it was perfectly reasonable at the time to say they were the "likeliest" Super Bowl opponent.

Brady is having what to this point would rank very high among the greatest individual seasons by any athlete, in any sport, anywhere, at any time. His record pace of 38 touchdown passes against just four interceptions — 17 of those scoring throws to Randy Moss — is unprecedented. Giving Moss to Brady is like giving a raise to Bill Gates.

Bad analogy. Bill Gates is the richest man in the world at about $47 billion. He's head and shoulders above everyone else regardless of a raise. Tom Brady, before this year, never had a QB rating above 92.6, never had more than 28 TDs, never had a better completion percentage of 63.9%. He was a very good QB, but he was clearly never the BEST. He gets Moss, and then suddenly Brady goes from good to God with 50 TDs, 8 INT, and a QB rating of 117.2. "Giving Moss to Brady is like giving steroids to Barry Bonds" would be a better analogy.

The only reason to think New England won't stay unbeaten is that nobody (since `72) ever has. The thing is, history has never seen what we are seeing of a dynasty angling for its fourth championship this decade, led by a near-perfect, precision quarterback in his prime and directed by the most ruthless coach in the sport.

So...the only reason to think it won't happen is because it hasn't happened since it last happened. But what's happening is something that history has never seen happen. So it's going to happen. Good logic.

The Patriots are the perfect team to hate. Coach Hoodie. The Bling Dynasty. The classic overdog. And Brady is Mr. Perfect, with his movie star and supermodel girlfriends and his impossible dimple.

Yes! I agree! They are the perfect team to hate. They're a bunch of douchebags. I will comment fully on the douchebaggianism of the team and head coach in a later post to come soon

Miami will go 1 for 2, then, on NFL history this year.

The franchise will avoid the ignominy of a winless season, but can only watch as another team at long last achieves the perfect distinction Miami once held alone.

Nope, Miami went 2 for 2. You went 0 for everything. (Well, not really, but you might as well have. Remember, I have the freedom to exaggerate for humerous purposes.)

GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!