Monday, December 17, 2007

Providing Isiah Thomas with the support he deserves

Jack Bauer and I were present at tonight's disaster at the world's most famous arena and contributed to the euphonious "FIRE ISIAH!!!" chants that erupted relentlessly throughout the entire 4th quarter. However, I felt slightly bad at how poor little Isiah was getting his feelings hurt, so I decided to try and make some small talk from section 310.

"Hey Isiah! Harass any women lately?!"

Douchebag didn't bother to dignify that with an answer. Fag.

And so far he hasn't taken Jack Bauer's advice either...

"Hey Isiah! Get Keith Van Horn back!!!!"

Jack Bauer was actually supporting Isiah, with votes of confidence such as "YOU RULE ISIAH!!!" Having felt some compassion for the sexual harasser/proud owner of the quote "If Larry Bird were black, he'd just be another good guy"/guy who doesn't think it's as bad for black people to call women "bitches", I decided to vouch for Isiah to Jimmy D by exclaiming "GIVE HIM AN EXTENSION!!!"

If Knick tickets weren't so fucking expensive, I'd be doing this every home game. Seriously, this is almost as fun as it would have been to be at the LJ 4 pt play game or "the dunk" game courtesy of John Starks. We need him back. Starks is amazing. He is Zeus's bitch. His penis is more powerful than a tactical nuclear weapon. Just like David Lee.

Jack Bauer: Did somebody say David Lee?
B.A. Baracus: Jack, calm down...don't you have the whole Tony Almeida being alive to worry about this season?
Jack Bauer: Don't you have to whole being unemployed and making no money since the A-Team went off the air 20 years ago thing to worry about?
B.A. Baracus: ..........touche!

Anyway, please, continue what we started tonight. Give Isiah our support...by asking how his sex life is going? Get his mind off basketball. Ask him how his bitches are doing. Tell him to remind us about how tough it was to grow up on the streets of Chicago. Ask him about how Game 5 of the '87 Eastern Conference finals turned out or what he thinks of Larry Bird. Most of all, show him that you care about him.......getting his motherfucking ass fired.

Oh, and James Dolan's band sucks. True story.

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