In the mind of Kenny Williams

B.A. Baracus love his mind-readin' device, foos! I recently used it on Kenny Williams, the awesome GM of the Chicago White Sox.

Man, why isn't this team doing well? I thought getting Darin Erstad would solve all the problems! Alright, it looks like we're going to have to take it up a notch. I'm going to pursue David Eckstein. He's won 2 world series. By himself. He was the best player on each of those teams. You know what? Here's my ideal lineup for next season. I'm going to load this roster with winners:

1B Darin Erstad (age 34)
2B Luis Castillo (age 32)
SS David Eckstein (age 33)
3B Joe Crede (age 30)
LF Scott Podsednik (age 32)
CF Steve Finley (age 42)
RF Jermaine Dye (age 34)
DH Jim Thome (age 38)

Talk about a roster of winners! That's a total of 9 world series rings! We'll get Castillo by trading Paul Konerko. Straight up. I don't know why you'd trade 2 rings for just one ring. For some reason the Mets would rather have 32 year old Paul Konerko than 36 year old Carlos Delgado. So I said, hell yeah! We're getting the better end of the deal! And Steve Finley, well, the Rockies gave him to us for some free Uno's Deep Dish. So, as I said about the Konerko deal, hell yeah! As far as the pitching staff is concerned, why should I do anything differently?! Garland, Buehrle, and Contreras were awesome in 2005! They'll do it again. 2008 White Sox: the 2008 World Series Champions!

The White Sox are absolutely horrible. And they're trying to get horrible-er.

As they are now, here are their team numbers:

.243/.317/.396
86 OPS+
943/453 K/BB ratio
62/33 SB/CS

And the average age on the team is 30. Adding David Eckstein's career 87 OPS+ will be an improvement...only because it's not Juan Uribe's career 78 OPS+. Kenny Williams might be the worst GM ever. The only good hitters in that lineup are Konerko and Thome, but Thome is going to be 38, and he's such an injury risk. Konerko will be 32 next year, and despite the slow start, really picked it up, and has a PrOPS of .917, which isn't too far off from where he's been in his last 3 seasons. Dye overachieved big time last year, came back to earth this year, and is going to drop even further as he turns 34. Although he has gotten a little bit unlucky this year, as he only has a .262 BA/BIP, by far the worst among AL rightfielders, I still wouldn't expect a whole lot out of him in the next few years. In fact, I expect the White Sox to be hilariously bad next year with Ozzie Guillen calling everybody a maricon and cursing 5 times a sentence in his press conferences.