Imbecility at its best.
All three are considered experts. All three predict the Yankees to miss the postseason. Let's just look at Steve Henson, because he basically says the same thing the other idiots say.
Steve Henson
AL East Predictions
Boston Red Sox 96-66
NY Yankees 92-70
Toronto Blue Jays 86-76
Tampa Bay Rays 72-90
Baltimore Orioles 70-92
Description: Late March adventures in the Tokyo Dome and the L.A. Coliseum might cause the Red Sox to start slow, but this is one of the best rosters in recent memory. Better than the Yankees, who are counting heavily on young pitchers and aging position players, and the Blue Jays, whose team doctor should be MVP if they win the division. The Rays are improving but are still middle-school level to the Red Sox graduate students.
Time for a player comparisons at each position:
First Base: Kevin Youkilis vs. Jason Giambi
Yeah...great, you masturbate to Youkilis' .390 OBA, but he has weak power for a first baseman and he's 29. He's not going to get any better. He'll probably go .290/.390/.450 again this year. Jason Giambi, however, is in a contract year and he came back in shape. The last time Giambi came back from a very injury-prone season was for 2005, and he racked up 32 HR and a league-leading .440 OBA. If Giambi can do anything like that, he'll be much more valuable than Kevin Youkilis offensively. A healthy Giambi can pass at first base. Youkilis has Giambi in that, but it won't make up the offensive difference. Edge: Yankees
Second Base: Dustin Pedroia vs. Robinson Cano
There's no debate in this. Robinson Cano can bomb a ball further the other way than Pedroia can pull a ball with a hurricane behind it. Not to mention, Cano is much less influenced by ballpark (.866 home OPS vs. .816 road OPS) than that lilliputian stumpy sack of feces (.912 home OPS vs. .729 road OPS). And defensively, Cano is one of the best in the league (.846 ZR) and Pedroia is alright (.833). Edge: Yankees
Shortstop: Julio Lugo vs. Derek Jeter
Jeter was awful defensively last year, exacerbated by a knee injury, but he worked a lot on agility this year and he looks much better ranging to his left this year. So expect Jeter to shut up his defensive critics this season with a solid ZR. Lugo's alright defensively (.822 ZR), but nothing fantastic. Offensively, there's no contest. Lugo's a career .273/.334/.395 hitter, Jeter's a career .317/.388/.462 hitter. Edge: Yankees
Third Base: Mike Lowell vs. Alex Rodriguez
Here's all I have to say: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA A-Rod in Yellowstone could outhit Mike Lowell in my backyard wiffle ball stadium. Edge: Yankees
Catcher: Jason Varitek vs. Jorge Posada
Even with Jorge Posada dropping off the way we all expect him to (probably to his typical career numbers of .277/.381/.479), he'll still be better than Varitek, whose 36 year old campaign has gotten off to a God-awful looking start. And please don't give me that shit about Varitek having these great intangibles that make the pitching staff better...Edge: Yankees
Left Field: Manny Ramirez vs. Johnny Damon
Looks like the Red Sox finally win a position. Manny Ramirez is 36 years old, and his days of .300+/.400+/.600+ are over, but he'll probably hit around what he did last year or a little better. Johnny Damon will probably hit around .285/.360/.420 like I predicted here
and Damon's defense isn't going to make up the difference. Edge: Red Sox
Center Field: Jacoby Ellsbury/Coco Crisp vs. Melky Cabrera
This is an interesting one. Jacoby Ellsbury is not Willie Mays like all of Red Sox Mastur-Bation thinks he is, but he'll be a serviceable centerfielder with a lot of speed. In AAA, he hit .298/.360/.380. He'll put up about a 1.5 K/BB ratio and hit for a solid average at the MLB-level, but he suffers from a big lack of power and overall, just doesn't hit the ball very hard when you watch him. Melky Cabrera's season didn't look all that great last year, but so far in his career, he's put up a 1.3 K/BB ratio, and over a 90 game stretch last year, boasted a line of .325/.372/.474 over a 90 game stretch from June through the beginning of September. I'm not naive enough to think he can put that up for a whole season (at least not yet), but I think Melky will put up the numbers I projected here. Overall, those hot streaks will get longer and those dry spells will shorten up. Edge: even
Right Field: JD Drew vs. Bobby Abreu
JD Drew will probably bounce back to some extent from last year. However, so will Bobby Abreu. Once he was healthy in June, he went .309/.396/.520 for the rest of the year. Overall, I think Abreu will be better than Drew, but I'll be generous and say it'll be pretty even. Edge: even
Designated Hitter: David Ortiz vs. Hideki Matsui
Don't need to do much analysis to figure out this one. Ortiz will outperform Matsui handily, but Matsui will still hit his 20-25 home runs and hit around .300/.370/.480. Edge: Red Sox
One of the best rosters in history? The Yankees have the Red Sox beat at all positions except Left Field and DH.
Ohhhh, right...that divine starting rotation and bullpen that can do no wrong...
Starting Rotation: Josh Beckett, Tim Wakefield, Jon Lester, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Clay Buchholz
vs. Chien-Ming Wang, Andy Pettitte, Phil Hughes, Mike Mussina, Ian Kennedy
Is the Red Sox rotation really astronomically better than the Yankees rotation? Beckett went on the Jon Miller/Billy Joel bacon fat-red wine combo diet in the offseason and anyone who thinks he's going to duplicate last year is out of their minds. Tim Wakefield? He is a league average pitcher at best. Jon Lester is going to be 1999 Andy Pettitte. Daisuke Matsuzaka is going to be Johan Santana against bad teams, Kei Igawa against good teams. Clay Buchholz, by all accounts, looks to be very good, but like Joba Chamberlain, is going to be limited in his pitches and innings this year.
Chien-Ming Wang and Andy Pettitte will both put up 400+ innings of 4.00 ERA or better. Phil Hughes is healthy and even with much less than his best stuff last year put up a league average ERA. Mike Mussina is in better shape this year and his fastball is hitting 88-90, which is enough for him to put up 180 innings or so of about an average ERA. Ian Kennedy had a great spring, showing good command of his fastball and changeup. His breaking ball needs some work, but over the course of the season he'll get it right. I think he's going to have a very good rookie year. I don't think you can honestly say after going through the rotation pitcher by pitcher that the Red Sox are better. Yankees have 2 shoo-ins for 400+ solid innings, some great upside in the 3 and 5 slots, and average pitching from the 4 slot. Edge: Yankees
Bullpen
This is where it's fair to say that the Red Sox might have an edge, but not by much. It was one outing, but Papsmear showed he really does not have much of an arsenal. All he does is throw fastballs and an occasional splitter. Everyone knows what's coming. He is going to start getting hit more this year. Okajima is solid, but he came back to earth in the second half, so expect to see numbers close to his 2nd half as opposed to his 1st. Delcarmen's not that great, and even if he does repeat last year, he's only going to pitch around 45 innings. Timlin's solid but he's old. Javier Lopez isn't that good. Kyle Snyder sucks.
Mariano Rivera is 38, but he'll still be the very good to excellent closer that he is. Joba Chamberlain in the set-up role, at least for the beginning of the season, is going to be great. Ross Ohlendorf has good stuff. Who knows what the Yankees will get out of Bruney, Farnsworth, etc. but overall, the Yankees bullpen will be passable. Edge: Red Sox/even
Best roster in recent memory? How can you possibly say that you fucking jerkoff? The entire Yankees infield is way better than the Red Sox, the Yankees rotation is better. You braindead schmucks probably get a little too excited from watching the post-game shower scenes from the Red Sox locker room last October. Stick to Pedroia's David Ortiz porn and your right hand instead of writing turds like this when you want to gratify yourself.
Showing posts with label fuck the red sox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fuck the red sox. Show all posts
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
Boston + Overrating = Angry B.A.
That equation is as fundamental as e = mc^2, or F = delta p, or Isiah Thomas + James Dolan = 2 assholes and 1 bad franchise.
I'm sick and tired of everyone who rants and raves about how awesome the Boston Red Sox rotation is and how scary it could be to face next year. Let's break this down:
Point #1: Esteban Louiza had a dominant year once, too.
Josh Beckett has one...ONE dominant year, and suddenly he's the greatest thing on God's green earth. Can we hold off on the coronation err ass-kissing err self-gratification err ejaculation for JUUUUST another season or two please?
I'm not saying the guy sucks. He is a good pitcher, but there are several pitchers in MLB I would take before I take Josh Beckett. He had a flukily low BB/9 IP relative to his career norms this year. He often pitched under little or no duress the whole season which probably helped lower his BB/9 IP total. He had a fairly low HR/FB percentage (8.0% vs. 10.2%). There are too many variables for Beckett to continue having the success of 2007. And if you look at his gamelog, in the few games he pitched this year that were close, he either walked a more typical number of batters and/or gave up home runs. Since I'm too lazy to do more than this, here are numerous examples of his walk rate increasing in close games:
April 21 vs. NYY 6.2 IP 2 BB 7-5 when pulled
May 2 vs. OAK 7.0 IP 2 BB 5-3 when pulled
May 13 vs. BAL 4.0 IP 2 BB 0-2 when pulled
June 3 vs. NYY 6.1 IP 3 BB 5-4 when pulled
July 20 vs. CHW 6.0 IP 2 BB 5-3 when pulled
Aug 24 vs. CHW 5.2 IP 3 BB 3-5 when pulled
Over those starts, that's a 2.91 BB/9 IP. Not terrible, but much more typical for him in his career.
Magglio Ordonez hit .363 this past year and OPS'd well over 1.000. Shit like this can happen, where a guy who is a good player to begin with has everything go right for him. He's going to walk more people next year (you generally do not improve your walk rate drastically at his age), he's going to give up some more home runs (96 mph fastballs will tend to find the head of the bat a little bit more like they did in 2006), and he will not get the same run support either. Red Sox scored 5.35 runs per game this past season but 6.42 runs when he was on the mound. So he's going to have to pitch under a little more duress next year. Beckett will likely have an ERA around 3.80 to 4.00 in this upcoming season.
Point #2: Curt Schilling's a fat, lazy, old piece of shit with a mouth that defecates it as well.
Anyone who expects more than an ERA around 4.00 to 4.25 in 160 IP from him is deluding themselves. He's fat, he's injury prone, his stuff is not nearly what it once was, etc. He won't walk people because he never has (though it might go up marginally since he has to be more of a finesse pitcher now, but nothing significant), but he's going to give up more hits because he can't get his fastball by as many people anymore and he always gave up home runs. Ideally, I'd like to see him go 0-18 with a 17.39 ERA to break Roy Halladay's record for worst ERA in over 40 innings by about 7 runs, but God provides Heaven on earth in instances that are few and far between. After I die and hopefully go to Heaven, this will happen.
Point #3: Daisuke is just not that good.
He's not. It's as simple as that. The Yankees kicked his ass numerous times, for example. Yeah, sure he struck out lots of guys this year. But he's very hittable (191 H in 204 IP), will give up long balls (25 of them), and can lose his control at any moment (look at how many times he walked 3-5 guys in a game. "Too many times Turtle...too many times").
Everyone's so scared of this rotation...
A rotation of Wang-Pettitte-Hughes is probably better...
A rotation of Halladay-McGowan-Burnett/Marcum could be better...
A rotation of Lackey-Escobar-Weaver is probably better...
You could do a lot worse than Beckett-Schilling-Matsuzaka, but let's stop salivating on and swinging from their nuts, huh?
I'm sick and tired of everyone who rants and raves about how awesome the Boston Red Sox rotation is and how scary it could be to face next year. Let's break this down:
Point #1: Esteban Louiza had a dominant year once, too.
Josh Beckett has one...ONE dominant year, and suddenly he's the greatest thing on God's green earth. Can we hold off on the coronation err ass-kissing err self-gratification err ejaculation for JUUUUST another season or two please?
I'm not saying the guy sucks. He is a good pitcher, but there are several pitchers in MLB I would take before I take Josh Beckett. He had a flukily low BB/9 IP relative to his career norms this year. He often pitched under little or no duress the whole season which probably helped lower his BB/9 IP total. He had a fairly low HR/FB percentage (8.0% vs. 10.2%). There are too many variables for Beckett to continue having the success of 2007. And if you look at his gamelog, in the few games he pitched this year that were close, he either walked a more typical number of batters and/or gave up home runs. Since I'm too lazy to do more than this, here are numerous examples of his walk rate increasing in close games:
April 21 vs. NYY 6.2 IP 2 BB 7-5 when pulled
May 2 vs. OAK 7.0 IP 2 BB 5-3 when pulled
May 13 vs. BAL 4.0 IP 2 BB 0-2 when pulled
June 3 vs. NYY 6.1 IP 3 BB 5-4 when pulled
July 20 vs. CHW 6.0 IP 2 BB 5-3 when pulled
Aug 24 vs. CHW 5.2 IP 3 BB 3-5 when pulled
Over those starts, that's a 2.91 BB/9 IP. Not terrible, but much more typical for him in his career.
Magglio Ordonez hit .363 this past year and OPS'd well over 1.000. Shit like this can happen, where a guy who is a good player to begin with has everything go right for him. He's going to walk more people next year (you generally do not improve your walk rate drastically at his age), he's going to give up some more home runs (96 mph fastballs will tend to find the head of the bat a little bit more like they did in 2006), and he will not get the same run support either. Red Sox scored 5.35 runs per game this past season but 6.42 runs when he was on the mound. So he's going to have to pitch under a little more duress next year. Beckett will likely have an ERA around 3.80 to 4.00 in this upcoming season.
Point #2: Curt Schilling's a fat, lazy, old piece of shit with a mouth that defecates it as well.
Anyone who expects more than an ERA around 4.00 to 4.25 in 160 IP from him is deluding themselves. He's fat, he's injury prone, his stuff is not nearly what it once was, etc. He won't walk people because he never has (though it might go up marginally since he has to be more of a finesse pitcher now, but nothing significant), but he's going to give up more hits because he can't get his fastball by as many people anymore and he always gave up home runs. Ideally, I'd like to see him go 0-18 with a 17.39 ERA to break Roy Halladay's record for worst ERA in over 40 innings by about 7 runs, but God provides Heaven on earth in instances that are few and far between. After I die and hopefully go to Heaven, this will happen.
Point #3: Daisuke is just not that good.
He's not. It's as simple as that. The Yankees kicked his ass numerous times, for example. Yeah, sure he struck out lots of guys this year. But he's very hittable (191 H in 204 IP), will give up long balls (25 of them), and can lose his control at any moment (look at how many times he walked 3-5 guys in a game. "Too many times Turtle...too many times").
Everyone's so scared of this rotation...
A rotation of Wang-Pettitte-Hughes is probably better...
A rotation of Halladay-McGowan-Burnett/Marcum could be better...
A rotation of Lackey-Escobar-Weaver is probably better...
You could do a lot worse than Beckett-Schilling-Matsuzaka, but let's stop salivating on and swinging from their nuts, huh?
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Fuck Fenway Park
Fenway Park is a piece of shit
As if this wasn't already known. But let's take a look at it from a statistical point of view.
The Yankees, this year, hit 46% ground balls, 19% line drives, struck out 15% of the time, walked 9% of the time, and hit fly balls 10% of the time.
The Red Sox, this year, hit 42% ground balls, 18% line drives, struck out 16% of the time, walked 11% of the time, and hit fly balls 12% of the time. Considering the Yankees hit liners or grounders 5% more of the time, they should have a somewhat higher BA/BIP. But.......
Red Sox BA/BIP
.315
Yankees BA/BIP
.318
What can this be attributed to?
*drumroll*
That irregularly shaped, dilapidated, pile of green shit. Come hit at Fenway Park! Make friends with the Green Monster, which has been sprayed with the semen of mediocre hitters since 1912!
On the road, Yankees' BA/BIP was .341 approximately. The Red Sox had a BA/BIP of .325. So basically the difference was made up big time at Fenway. With that in mind, let's have a quick talk with free agent Mike Lowell.
B.A. Baracus: So Mike, you're a free agent. What do you think your value is?
Mike Lowell: Well, B.A. I'm an amazing hitter as I've told Joe Morgan. I hit .324 and I drove in 120 runs. It's all because I'm amazing. Whatever A-Rod gets, I should get at least 80-90% of that contract since I hit for a higher batting average and I drove in about 80% of the runs.
B.A. Baracus: That's pretty funny. Almost as funny as your 97 pt difference between home and away batting average.
Mike Lowell: SHHHH!!!!!! Not so loud! GMs like Kenny Williams wouldn't know that! He'd be too stupid to look that up. He'd see "World Series MVP". "120 RBI". "Age 34", which apparently would be attractive to him. I would miss the Green Monster, but who cares. I just needed him for one year. I love the Green Monster. I do, but for $20 million, I'll go play increasingly poor defense, make Joe Crede look like Mike Schmidt, stuff Uno's Deep Dish down my throat every night and take Ozzie Guillen calling me a "fatass faggot" everyday for all I care. I got what I wanted out of the Monster. On road trips to Boston I'll show him my gratitude.
B.A. Baracus: You don't think the Monster will feel used? He gave you a .373 home BA this year, a .993 home OPS, 13 of your 21 home runs and you're just going to go for the dollar signs?
Mike Lowell: You know how much the Monster gets? He could care less. This year it was me. Next year it can be Bobby Kielty for all Greeny, hehe I call him Greeny, cares. Monster just wants dick. It's been catching on.
B.A. Baracus: Apparently. You guys just get gayer by the minute.
Mike Lowell: And we're damn proud. Next year if the Sox win, Papelbon's going to do his gay Riverdance routine with just a red sock on. Red Hot Chili Peppers style.
B.A. Baracus: You guys have reached the bottom of the gay sewer underneath steaming piles of shit...and yet you continue to dig deeper.
As Douggy Bombs said, everything associated with the Boston Red Sox is gay and stupid.
As if this wasn't already known. But let's take a look at it from a statistical point of view.
The Yankees, this year, hit 46% ground balls, 19% line drives, struck out 15% of the time, walked 9% of the time, and hit fly balls 10% of the time.
The Red Sox, this year, hit 42% ground balls, 18% line drives, struck out 16% of the time, walked 11% of the time, and hit fly balls 12% of the time. Considering the Yankees hit liners or grounders 5% more of the time, they should have a somewhat higher BA/BIP. But.......
Red Sox BA/BIP
.315
Yankees BA/BIP
.318
What can this be attributed to?
*drumroll*
That irregularly shaped, dilapidated, pile of green shit. Come hit at Fenway Park! Make friends with the Green Monster, which has been sprayed with the semen of mediocre hitters since 1912!
On the road, Yankees' BA/BIP was .341 approximately. The Red Sox had a BA/BIP of .325. So basically the difference was made up big time at Fenway. With that in mind, let's have a quick talk with free agent Mike Lowell.
B.A. Baracus: So Mike, you're a free agent. What do you think your value is?
Mike Lowell: Well, B.A. I'm an amazing hitter as I've told Joe Morgan. I hit .324 and I drove in 120 runs. It's all because I'm amazing. Whatever A-Rod gets, I should get at least 80-90% of that contract since I hit for a higher batting average and I drove in about 80% of the runs.
B.A. Baracus: That's pretty funny. Almost as funny as your 97 pt difference between home and away batting average.
Mike Lowell: SHHHH!!!!!! Not so loud! GMs like Kenny Williams wouldn't know that! He'd be too stupid to look that up. He'd see "World Series MVP". "120 RBI". "Age 34", which apparently would be attractive to him. I would miss the Green Monster, but who cares. I just needed him for one year. I love the Green Monster. I do, but for $20 million, I'll go play increasingly poor defense, make Joe Crede look like Mike Schmidt, stuff Uno's Deep Dish down my throat every night and take Ozzie Guillen calling me a "fatass faggot" everyday for all I care. I got what I wanted out of the Monster. On road trips to Boston I'll show him my gratitude.
B.A. Baracus: You don't think the Monster will feel used? He gave you a .373 home BA this year, a .993 home OPS, 13 of your 21 home runs and you're just going to go for the dollar signs?
Mike Lowell: You know how much the Monster gets? He could care less. This year it was me. Next year it can be Bobby Kielty for all Greeny, hehe I call him Greeny, cares. Monster just wants dick. It's been catching on.
B.A. Baracus: Apparently. You guys just get gayer by the minute.
Mike Lowell: And we're damn proud. Next year if the Sox win, Papelbon's going to do his gay Riverdance routine with just a red sock on. Red Hot Chili Peppers style.
B.A. Baracus: You guys have reached the bottom of the gay sewer underneath steaming piles of shit...and yet you continue to dig deeper.
As Douggy Bombs said, everything associated with the Boston Red Sox is gay and stupid.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)