Saturday, December 8, 2007

NYC etc.: The Death of Common Sense, and the Coinciding Death of Fun

Time out for a non sports post.

Idiots are ruining our world. Day by day, one by one, brainless spineless moron fucks, are shitting all over everything we have, and ruining what makes life full and complete...with their stupid idiot mishaps and inability to overcome even the most basic of obstacles. Now, what one thing might I be referring to? I'm actually referring to a bunch. This post represents the culmination of many years of frustration going from a childhood where you could pretty much do what you wanted, to an adulthood where people are babied and pampered beyond belief, and the result is really the death of fun and the pussification of all. Just because a few fucking idiots couldn't handle the most basic responsibilities.

Think about it. 9/11 happens, and some moron dumbfuck college kid decides to be a wise ass and prove a point. Meanwhile, as a result, security around ALL airports is going to continue to stay at the already ridiculous levels it is at, and possibly even increase, because of dumbasses like this, who pop up periodically to raise the levels of perceived security threats just when they are dying back down, to prevent the rest of us from flying conveniently, or at all.

Here's a photo from the 1950's taken on the old Third Avenue El in Manhattan. Notice the open END DOOR on the rear of the train, and the guy leaning near it. Clearly a "perilous position" in the eyes of today's casual observer. I remember as a kid growing up in New York, of at least one train that I rode on, with an open end door that I rode on (this one was in a more dangerous position - the very FRONT of the train). It slid open as the train pulled into a station. Rather than panicking, and running in fear, and taking the train OoS, and bitching about the TA and standards of decency or acceptable service, and the whole "what have we come to" speech, someone calmly closed it. The train stayed in service, and everyone and everything moved on, including the train. Has it really gotten to the point where someone like my father would get charged for letting me ride in the back of our Jeep as a kid and hold logs in place as we shuttled them from our yard to where they'd be stored as firewood? God forbid I'd fall out of the open back hatch and under the wheels of the car. Oh wait, I'm a human being with BALANCE, and the COMMON SENSE to know whether or not I'm comfortable doing that... Needless to say I'm still here...

Now in the subway, you will find locked car end doors - not even at the ends of the train, where it makes some sense, but BETWEEN cars - because of a few dumbasses who think riding between cars is cool, or because of people like THIS, who are too dumb to realize that what they are attempting is extremely unsafe and stupid. Here is a diagram showing ANOTHER catastrophic, probably unintended, but likely consequence of this moron's actions. As a result, the rest of us are forced to live in some pussified state of existence, because these nincomshits can't stop getting injured, dying, or worse yet hurting others, at every twist and turn. The murderers? Their own fucking stupidity. Imagine the lawsuit on the MTA's hands when a woman is raped, and can't escape to alert a train crew member...all because the car's end doors are locked and she can't pass through. Just so some fucking idiot won't be tempted to try and take a quick shit on the coupler between stations.

And how about the dumbasses who monkey see and monkey do, even when it's incredibly illegal and flat out wrong? Or the movie that's so good, it just REQUIRES that one plug a bitch without delay.

It gets better. Remember that idiot who decided it was a good idea to jump off the upper deck at Yankee Stadium? Or those wise guys who decided there was no better target for their frustration than a first base coach? And you wonder why fans aren't allowed near players, or why storming the field is both frowned upon, and disciplined wherever possible. But these have been occuring for years, it just seems that in the past people were more willing to chalk it up to idiocy. Now it's, "if an idiot can do it, anyone can." And the result? The death of fun.

Look at how cigarette companies can't advertise anymore. Are people really too stupid to say no? Or are we really that fucking dumb that if a cowboy or a cartoon camel tell us to do something, we'll do it? All that ad revenue money, poured back into the American economy...NOT!

Or how about how "Walk" and "Don't Walk" is insufficient for street crossings? Yes, we really have dumbed down to the point where we need COLORED PICTURES to indicate if one should be walking, or stopping at a busy intersection. As if the perpendicular traffic lights, visible from the crosswalk, aren't enough. As if the cars' relative speed and acceleration / deceleration is not enough. Where the FUCK is the common sense? Will we someday need a trained security guard on every street corner to help interpret the pictures for the people who no speaky English and can't distinguish colors? And is it really illegal to photograph bridges? Does it really lead to blacklisting as a terrorist? And is it truly necessary to stop at railroad crossings? Well, this guy thought it was, it's just too bad he waited until he was already on the tracks to stop! DeeDuhDee!!!...But don't laugh, it wasn't funny for the crew of the train, or the company whose shipment was on board!

The fact is we live in a world of the consolation prize. The belief that everyone deserves a fair shake only results in the reality that everyone kinda gets a high five, but nothing more. Fat kids get trophies, kids get paid to go to school like they are supposed to, game show contestants always have a consolation prize and a hug to fall back on, and if you can't work or get a job? There's always unemployment, welfare, and other social services! And all those illegal immigrants? Why, sure, we all feel bad for them. Rags to riches...this is America, baby! They don't pay taxes, but what the heck? Let's extend to them all the benefits of citizenship! And then let's act shocked and appalled when people actually have the balls to say what everyone is thinking, at least everyone who has to go to work and pay taxes on their earnings to make their living.

And let's reinstate the millenia old tradition of shoving religious beliefs down everyone's throat. Because religious beliefs such as wait until marriage are clearly what this country was founded on, not separation of church and state, freedom of religion, and life liberty and the pursuit. Religion is, and always has been, used as a way to control the masses - See what your peers are saying. Whether you are religious or not, you should realize that the indiscriminating believer does what he/she is told in fear of an all powerful divine creature who will either deny them safe passage into an after life, or make their present circumstances more difficult. This has historically been exploited in such travesties as the Crusades, religious warfare in Northern Ireland, and even the current misapplication of Islamic principles used by the very terrorists we claim to be fighting. The so-called "Bible Belt" is largely responsible for the decline in standards, the increase in stupidity, and the belief that we should accomodate idiots. Their self-promulgating idiocy makes the world worse...and dumber too.

But yet most people are too STUPID to realize any of this. They're too busy drunkenly weaving in and out of traffic and causing pile-ups to notice that some lawmakers in our world actually want to make it illegal to make a gay joke.

And TV is doing its part to turn the general public into a bunch of stupid fucking lemming morons. Instead of intelligent TV, or even humorous TV, we are now faced with a bunch of fucking bilefilth that glorifies tramps, ho's, skanks, pimps, idiots, crack dealers, dumbass no-talent get-lucky celebrities, and unnecessary high school level drama occuring at ages 25 and up. And worse, yet, the Internet is giving people a forum to be dumbasses and actually get the attention they crave. As a result, people are getting DUMBER and DUMBER. There is no such thing as good TV anymore, save for a few shows.

Meanwhile, people are more concerned with celebrity hijinks than actual news. More concerned about getting on [insert crappy show here], or having a brush with a celebrity so they can tell their friends something. All this over getting a job, a degree, developing meaningful friendships, actually dating people of the opposite sex instead of hooking up with them so you can friend them on Facebook later, and pursuing their actual interests to develop their personality instead of just copying those around them.

"Damn, yo. That's the life. I'd love to get on the Real World and sass some ho's!"

Congratulations, the world we live in is now one big, fucking high school. And just like high school, the rules are changing to become more strict - always hold the handrail when ascending or descending stairs, and watch the gap when boarding an elevator. The fun is going away. First it will be airport searches, closed subway end doors, and no more delicious Garlic Bob's Brick Oven Pizza because of a health code violation I never tasted in 7+ years of going there at least once a week, and then pretty soon you will have to board a ferry to cross a fucking street. Next thing you know they're going to ban hay rides, water guns, glass silverware, flatbeds at Costco, the double bacon cheeseburger, sports, jungle gyms, jacuzzis, pools, plastic bags, and the wired telephone.

Why? Simple: Stupid people fucking up so often that these items become "hazardous to the health of the general public."

Don't be one of them Stupids. This site is called pwnageofmorons for a reason...morons eventually get wrecked, because they tend to Stupid themselves right into a a buck twenty...on a scooter. The best advice I can give you is to be as far away from them as possible when they do, so that you don't become collateral damage. And for now, enjoy what's left of the fun.

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