Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Digging Through the Scrap Heap: Commentators

W/O further ado...

Sterling - good on radio, couldn't imagine him on TV though

Waldman - horrible, horrible, horrible. My ears bleed when she talks. She's a face for radio and a voice for...a silent auction?

Kay - is an idiot, but I'm starting to mind him less cuz everyone else is so bad

Kaat - plz come back...plz

Murcer - good. Get well and get back in the booth, we NEED good ppl

Flaherty - good. Entertaining.

O'Neill - could be better but talks way too much. Feeds off Kay's retarded hypothetical questions. It used to be funnier when he would just own Kay all the time.

Girardi - OK. Doesn't really leave an impression as an announcer.

David Justice - Needed to choke up on the mic up there. He was like the annoying principal at your grammar school who'd hog the mic for like 7 days beating you over the head with some irrelevant points, talking down to you all day. A game with David Justice was not a game, it was verbal harassment, and you were the victim.

Tino - Do some YES games, homee

Singleton - OK. Says some really stupid things at times. Talks about his career too much without any significance with regard to the game being played (unlike Kaat who related everything and was always interesting).

Joe Buck - actually good. Knows how to shut up and let a crowd take over the atmosphere of the game at key points, but can at least give you something to think about during the low and slow points of a game.

Tim McCarver - the man can not get through a simple sentence without verbally tripping over his own two feet. He makes sitting and talking so difficult you wish that by the third inning, someone would just let the man rest

Jon Miller - senile, and cannot go five minutes without bringing up the ARod HA play. At least he's capable of getting excited when someone hits a home run, unlike Morgan (unless it's David Ortiz or Manny Ramirez hitting a HR).

Joe Morgan - biased, stupid, ignorant, and thinks he knows stuff. The only thing more annoying than an idiot, is an idiot who thinks he's smart. Because if we all listened to Morgan, bunting every time up and stealing every time we successfully bunt our way on base is what will create runs. And who cares about pitching? After all, INFIELD DEFENSE is what wins games. It's also disgusting how badly he sucks off Papelbon. "Oh, Johnathan, you throw so hard." Oh, Joe, you suck even harder. Just for fun they should make him cover Craig Biggio's 3,000th hit since he hates him so much.

Chris Berman - Excellently characterized this week by Phil Mushnick as "the uncle who you thought was funny when you were 10 but no longer want to sit next to at Thanksgiving." Boomer has got to realize he's not announcing wrestling, and just tone it back. The man wastes so much testosterone announcing introductions to sporting events you wonder if he has any left for his woman. Assuming of course, he can get one...which is no small assumption...

Steve Phillips - The architect behind the '02 Mets. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you your 2007 AL MVP...Bobby Crosby. There's a comment ARod can say HA to.

Sutcliffe - Decent. Knows a bit about pitching so if you watch long enough you'll learn something too.

Gary Cohen - The only thing that should be "outta here" is Cohen's voice...from my ears and the ears of everyone dear to me.

Tom Seaver - Tom didn't get the memo. No one cares who the toughest hitter he ever faced was.

Gary Thorne - should do more games.



wheatgerm said...

Commentators definitly make watching sports on tv a better experiance

Douggy Bombs said...

someone told me i forgot al leiter. file him in the same category as sutcliffe as pretty good.

-2007 AL MVP aka "Doug"

B.A. Baracus said...

Yeah, senile/just total moron Tom Seaver was an awesome broadcaster:

"And there's another point for the Diamondbacks. You see, Bobby Jones has to keep them from hitting touchdowns like that, because as a quarterback, the last thing you want to do is let them score a goal."

Also, the best pairing of broadcasters for the Mets is by far Gary Cohen and Tom Seaver. Because Seaver would say something like, "Oh hey, remember that game back on April 26, 1972 when Ed Kranepool fielded that groundball from Derrel Thomas in the 6th inning." And of course Cohen would say something like, "Oh yes! I remember that! It was an eight hopper on an offspeed pitch!"

Aside from David Wright and maybe a couple other guys, most aspects of the Mets just flat out suck.